I am so stupid. I am so fucking stupid to think that someone would actually come into my life and care about me. To think that I could finally get over all this bullshit if i found someone else. I was wrong, completely and utterly wrong. Why doesn’t anyone want me? Why am i not good enough for you? It’s like i let all these people in, trusting them to be careful and every fucking time it goes wrong. I’m so fucking done. I am such an idiot and i can’t even get over the fact that I let you in expecting it to be something and now its completely nothing.
I don’t want to be sad anymore.
Tonight was literally the best night of my whole life.
I went and saw All Time Low (again for the 2nd time this week, i also went to Spring Fever) but this was a million times better because it was just them. So before I went in i decided to just completely let go because whens the next time i get to see them for FREE 30 minutes away from me? So it was fucking great and they played such great songs and i screamed my lungs out and jumped and it was amazing. I was right in the very front and Alex kept coming up to our side of the stage and teasing us by putting his hands out and not touching us so i was mad. But the ending song, Dear Maria, ALEX FUCKING JUMPED ON ME and he was literally right on top of me and the crowd was pulling me under with him and i got to touch him and he hit my shoulder really hard but i don’t even fucking care because Alex is my idol and he saved my life. I caught a guitar pick and i cant even fucking believe Alex jumped on me to crowd surf. It was the best night of my life and i will never ever ever forget it. I cried during Therapy and it was so amazing to me jumping and singing a long with my favorite band with people that love them just as much as I do. Best night. Ever.
Okay i’m sorry i keep posting about it, but SPRING FEVER is today and i’m literally so excited. Like if i don’t come back you know where i am. I CANT WAIT HELP ME.
I will be there tomorrow! In los angeles! Message me if your going. And ps. Im literally crying i am so excited.









